Loving someone with bipolar disorder by Julie A. Fast

Author:Julie A. Fast
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781608822218
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Pam and Carlos’s Lives Today

Carlos: Our lives are much different now. It has taken a long time, but we have learned to prevent the irritation outbursts. Pam made some big changes at her work. These changes were hard on us financially but meant everything to me relationship-wise. I now see that I didn’t help with Pam’s irritation at all. I didn’t help around the house and I was often distant when she started to get sick. Now, instead of thinking, “Oh God! Here she goes again!” I have learned to recognize the first signs and I get out my list of symptoms and immediately see that she’s sick. I just go up to her and say, “I can see that you’re irritated. How can I help?” Or I say, “I can see that you’re angry, and I know that you don’t want to take it out on me. Let’s work together.”

I now know I can go to our list of what works and get ideas on how to help her. I can also see what I did in the past that didn’t work. This has changed our lives. It took about six months for us to get into a routine. Pam was also depressed when we started our plan, but we followed the same procedures we used to manage her irritation and we created a plan for depression. We now have plans for hypomania, depression, anger, and paranoia. All of her symptoms have really gotten better and we are both learning to recognize the very first signs that something is starting, so that we can get out our “What Works” list. At first I thought this would really limit our lives, but it hasn’t been that way at all. We can actually do more things together now that Pam is more aware of what makes her sick, and I’m more aware of what I can do to help.

Pam: I really had no idea that my irritation was a part of bipolar disorder. It was so hard for me to see clearly when I was in a rage. I’m so glad I didn’t hurt someone with the car or yell at the wrong person. I was out of control and Carlos had no idea how to help me. The first time we listed all of my triggers I couldn’t believe how I was increasing my irritation by doing the things that cause bipolar disorder to get worse. I never saw the connection between stress and my moods. It all felt so disconnected to me. Now I immediately recognize the first signs of irritation. I know that Carlos and I both have to go into prevention mode and I have to really examine what I’m doing with my life.

I made some big changes after we discussed my triggers. I stopped drinking diet cola. I did it cold turkey. That wasn’t easy. I started to work out at a gym and discovered that swimming was calming. I made some big changes at work. I cut back on my hours and stopped volunteering for every new project that came my way.

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